Left to Survive
by Ninja-Rider
Summary: Takes place during Mockingjay when Peeta is in the hands of the Capitol. What information will he give out, and how far will Snow go to get it from him? Please read and tell me what you think and if I should continue or not...?


**Authors Note:** Hello there! this is just a one-shot of Peeta during his time in the capitol, i might continue... Well here it is

* * *

Left to Survive

Chapter 1:Restraint

_Rain. Hard rain, not the usual drizzle now and then that we are used to. Bread. Hearty, burned bread. A hard hit to the face, and a girl. _

The only memory of her that I know is true, nothing fake about it in my twisted brain. And world for that matter.

_Cold, and sitting by our apple tree. Dead, glassy look in her eyes. Inches from death as she cringes in yet another pain of hunger. _

I see myself throwing the bread and smile, remembering it. I suddenly feel my feet, cold as if I were actually outside as I was in the memory. Except I know her more now and my eyes snap open, as I am terrified as to where she is. _Is she safe? Is she dead? Am I dead? _

I let my eyes focus and find myself in a white room. White tiles, white walls, white sheets on the bed I'm laying on. An annoying ringing of the florescent lights above me causes me an instant headache. But what is restraining me? I start to panic and attempt to wrestle my arms free from the tight metal clamp that is constricting them.

I feel the hysteria rising up inside of me, and someone trying to calm me from my outburst. Then a cold liquid enters my vein through the IV I have just now noticed in my arm and am instantly knocked out.

Again.

When I finally come to I use my brain before I react. I'm in a different room now. _Or is it?_ Its dark, I hear a whimper on my left. I quickly turn my head in that direction to identify its source. Another whimper as I blink my eyes and wait for them to adjust to the darkness. But they never do. Minutes pass, maybe hours, I don't know i've long since lost count, to wrapped up in the anxiety coursing through me.

_Where us she? Is she ok? What are they doing to her? Torturing her? Prodding her? Poisoning her?_ All to answer the question as to why she blew up the arena.

"Hello?" I ask into the darkness. I'm replied with yet another whimper. I think it's human... "Hello" I ask again. There's a gasping sound as they realize they aren't alone in this dark forsaken room.

"Hello?" a harsh female voice asks

"Johanna? Is that you?"

"Yes brainless, it is me. How ya feeling? Finally woke up didn't ya, funny I didn't wake up like that."

A rush of relief floods through me. A thin line forms under what I expect to be a door. "Oh God, not again" Johanna groans

The door opens and the fluorescent light is immediately on again, I drop my head, close my eyes, and try to steady my breathing as if I were sleeping.

A deep voice asks a question "She's awake, should we take her down?" A voice answers but the blankets I threw over my head muffle the words.

Bed wheels squeak and the door closes. The lights flicker off and I'm left alone in the darkness. I pull the blankets from my face and stare at the sliver of light from under the door. I would stare at something else if I could, but from being in the darkness for so long the light is interesting and holds my interest for a few seconds.

I hear another door open then shut. I hear Johanna's voice pleading that she doesn't know anything. The sounds of running water is lost in the words she screams at them, words better off left unrepeated. Then comes an unmistakable blood-curdling scream that can only be hers.

* * *

24 hours earlier

I hear Katniss scream my name, I run towards the sound. _What's going on?_ I tear though bushes of leaves larger then me until I find myself in a clearing. A branch snaps and Brutus reveals himself from behind a tree.

He doesn't see me though; he sees Chaff instead and spears him through the heart before he knows he's there. I take my chance and after standing up from the crouched position I was in, lunge at him. Using my knife I stab repeatedly until the two cannons sound.

I start running again calling Katniss' name as I do. I see an arrow fly through the air, pierce the force field and continue on with a thin gold wire trailing behind it. I'm instantly paralyzed and fall stiffly to the ground as the arena explodes. Trees immediately start burning, pieces of dirt and ash sprinkle down atop of me. I see the real sky for the first time in days. Blue, without any clouds, not the pink sky with endless clouds.

A hovercraft fly's over me and claws drop down. At first I think it's to pick up Chaff or Brutus, but the claws grab me and tug me from the debris.

* * *

I'm terrified of why Johanna is screaming. When the door opens again suddenly I don't have any time to move. I watch as a strong burly man pushes Johanna's empty bed back into our room. The bed has been left untouched with stains of blood and water splashed all over them.

The man comes over to my bed unattached my IV from the wall and I become aware of my skin: nothing on it, no scars, cuts, or bruises. It surprises me; I didn't expect that I was having a body polish as Johanna's screams echoed through the hallways.

The man is dressed in a peacekeepers uniform, with a gun attached to his side. He bends down and unlocks the wheels on my own bed and begins to roll me out the door. I'm paralyzed. _Where is he taking me_? _Am I going to be the one screaming this time? Am-_ I stop myself. I need to calm down. I can feel my pulse slow, my muscles relax as I close my eyes and listen to the sound of the wheels gliding across the linoleum tiled hallways.

_That wasn't Johanna_. I try to fool myself, no such results. The wheels continue to turn until we come to an elevator. He pushes my bed in and punches in a number, and the drop throws my stomach.

I'm stuck in the same position since I heard Johanna scream - my hands gripping the edge of the sheets and my head leaning against the back rail of the bed. After an incredibly short ride we exit and I have to double take at we're I am.

I would recognize this place anywhere. This is my old prep room, I remember since I was just in here… three days ago... _Or was it?_

I dare to ask a question "how long have I been out?" I ask the guard, I release the tight grip on the blankets and turn my head around to watch him answer.

"One day" he deadpans, not even bothering to look down at me.

A woman, with electric green hair to her waist, prances over to meet us." Hi, my name is Dasaria," she says with a smile that is impossibly white. I look up, the fluorescent lights reminding me of my last visit here, very unpleasant.

* * *

120 hours earlier

Portia rushes in the door covering her makeup streaked face with her hands. When she bumps into a table she removes her hand for a split second revealing her puffy eyes and tear stained cheeks. I immediately run over to her, asking her why she is crying and telling her she's ok. I lead her over to a plush chair and have her sit down.

She looks up from her hands and stares me right in the eyes, "This is n-not ok, Peeta, i-it's not ok. And you know th-that more then all of us! At f-first it was all fu-un, you know, getting to make cos-stumes and dres-ses, but not until re-recently have I actually thought about what is ha-happening... Right before our eyes!" she looks back down at her hands, watching her tears puddle in her limp palm.

"We've known that for a long time you know," I say, she starts sobbing again and I regret saying it. "I mean… we have always known it was wrong but we also knew that the citizens here in the Capitol don't think like us, it's just a game for them" She nods her head and she sits while I reassuringly pat her back.

Her sobs slowly contract to whimpers and she finally relaxes. She looks down at a thin silver bangle in her arm the taps it and a projection appears, she reads the time and her eyes go wide. "We need to hurry" she says as she stands up and begins scampering around the room grabbing this or that.

* * *

After a long hour of plucking, dressing, and trying to walk without stumbling Dasaria finally stands back and admires her work. She has me turn, and shakes her head in disapproval. "I'm sorry, but you just looks terrible" she says. Capitol people, always straight to the point.

" Why am I even being dressed up?" I finally ask ignoring her last comment.

"You're meeting the president today! Don't you remember? He has ordered a private meeting for only you and him… He only agreed after you pleading to have one." she looks up and sees the confused look on my face, she tilts her head to the right and seems to remember something.

" Wait, you were asleep... You did ask though, maybe you were sleep talking... you do that a lot you know" she shrugs and walks over to a wall with a panel with buttons.

She presses a button and speaks "Is the President ready yet?"

"Yes, send 792 in when he is ready."

She turns back toward me and summons me with a wave of her hand as she opens a door and begins to walk downs hallway. I hobble after her. 792? _Am I just a number now?_ And why such a high number, have their been others like me? And what is _like me_? After what seems like miles of hallways and elevators we come to another door. It's made of a heavy wood inlaid with ebony in rose patterns.

A guard stands to the side as I walk in. He closes the door behind me leaving me alone with Snow.

* * *

"_Dear boy_, come take a seat," he says while tapping his thin tapered fingers on a book he must have been recently reading. His eyes are cold and he seems to be staring me down, if looks could kill...

I walk toward a chair that sits in front of his desk and try to hide my stiffness as I lower my self into it.

" Oh what a mess you've made of your fragile little life. Now, I was informed that you wanted to talk to me," he says shaking his head slowly closing his eyes to increase the sense of his disapproval.

Questions flood to me at once, most relating to Katniss, but I'm, for once, speechless not knowing how to ask the obvious. He looks up at me "hmmm" he asks bringing me to my senses.

"Where is Katniss?" I ask, surprised at the amount of courage it took me to say the three simple words.

He leans back against his chair "Oh, Katniss." he hisses, just like the snake he is. " Well Katniss is perfectly safe in district 13"

My face goes blank, unable to comprehend the news. "13?"

"_Yes_, Mr. Mellark. 13. She abandoned you to save herself my _dear boy_" his face is sympathetic, even though I know he is lying. He is lying. But from the back of my mind I wonder if he may be telling the truth.

"I though 13 didn't exist"

"Oh, we'll that's what we told the districts, no 13, no rebellion. No war, no motherless or fatherless children. No existence of 13, no death."

"Is she ok, are they hurting her!" Anger quickly sweeps over the confusion rising inside of me, flushing my face red. My anger comes from deep inside me, as if someone has taken something that is mine away from me. Something that is not theirs to take.

Snows lips pull into a smile as he watches me content plastered across his face as he sees all the thoughts flood my brain. "No information has been released about Miss. Everdeen's current condition. All I can tell you is the obvious: you are in the capitol, and Miss. Everdeen is in District 13 along with around eight-hundred other natives of District 12."

His next question takes me by surprise. " What would you do to get her back?" I look into his eyes seeing the anticipation of my answer. I feel a pain in my chest as his words sink in, _to get her back_.

She's gone

And the pain increases into a hollowness that is impossible to ignore. Katniss is gone. She was taken. Taken from me. _Me_. The person who takes care of her. The person who holds her when her nightmares become unbearable. _They took her_.

"Anything" I say "I would do anything to get Katniss back. _Anything_."

I recognize the pain I feel. It reminds me of when I would see her and Gale together. I was incredibly jealous of him, for having her. Not even having her, but just being with her, even if they weren't a couple.

I could see it in his eyes at times, him wanting more than a friendly relationship. I had felt that way, yet I didn't have even a friendly relationship. Katniss was a girl from the seam, I was a baker's son, and nobody would even expect a friendship between us. Unlike her and Gale, both from the seam, both fatherless, both trying to feed their families.

"Alright then" the president responds pulling me back into reality. He stops tapping his fingers and bends down to look underneath his desk. My brows furrow as I try to understand what he is doing. There is a rough squeaking noise as he pulls out a drawer. He takes a key from his pocket and opens a small box that he sat on the table. He slips the key back into his pocket and closes the drawer, causing another squeaking. He pushes the box across his desk and turns it to face me.

He nods his head "Open it," I hesitate for a moment, ruminating what could be in the simple wooden box before me. "Open it," Snow repeats becoming annoyed at my hesitation to do so.

I swallow and slowly, carefully open the box. The hinges creak, indicating how long it has been since it has been opened. Inside is a dead tracker jacker lying on a silk red cloth. I look up, now even more confused then before and see him smiling, I close the box and examine the lid. In small letters up in the corner is one word that would terrify anyone: Torture.

* * *

I look back up at Snow, he leans forward, setting his elbows on his desk and resting his chin on his fists, "Now, can you keep a secret?"

I nod, hoping I didn't just promise something that I would later regret. "Katniss is a mutt," he whispers. I feel a needle stab me from behind. My eyes cross and the last thing I see is Snow's puffy lipped grin as he says, "Sweet dreams."

I wake to the sound of Snow's deep voice, hanging over me like a weight about to be dropped. "I don't care what lies he tells. He knows something, and we are going to get it out of him" I keep my eyes closed, hoping the longer I act like I'm sleeping the more I can listen to what ever he is talking about.

"Mr. president, the minds a fragile thing, you can't mess with it before you go beyond repair." My head begins to throb with a headache; I wonder how long I have been asleep?

"Dr Venyar" Snow imitates in the same pleading tone, " for Gods sake do you think I care of he dies!" Dies? What are they planning on doing to me?

"I'm going to tell you. One. Last. Time. Mr. Mellark is in no condition to inject venom into, from what we detect if you do proceed and inject him he will most likely die of the effects."

Snow pauses for a long time considering my fate, then answers

"Dr Venyar you are dismissed, please bring one syringe full of the venom"

"Bu-"

"I said bring me the syringe," he repeats sternly, " and I could easily arrange for you to be in Mr. Mellark's position with a push of a button. Cadmus, I like you, and am overly grateful that you decided to help me with this. Just remember, the public is always watching, as am I, so be careful what you do and whom you listen to." The door closes with a loud slam, I jolt up, involuntarily, the sound reminding me of my dreams.

The sound of thunder bounces off the walls in the cave Katniss and I have occupied, she lies sleeping, as a cannon follows the sound of thunder. Each thunder another cannon, I begin to count the shots. Thunder. Cannon. One. Thunder. Cannon. Two. How many of us are left now? Three? Thunder. Cannon. Three.

Now two.

I sit up slowly, so we won? I've never heard of anything like this happening in the arena. Why would they kill off the other tributes allowing us to win? I turn to Katniss about to wake her but I'm halted by a dreaded sound.

Thunder. Canon. Four.

I look down at Katniss to see her chest not raise and fall like it had steadily done the past few hours. She's... dead...?

"No! No! She can't die!" I bend over and start shaking her not accepting the fact that the love of my life is dead. Explosions deafen my yelling as the rocks above me are pulled away and the rain pours over us, or should I say me?

They pick Katniss' lifeless body up with the claws. I watch as she limply hangs from its grasp, her hair dripping with water and a thin trail of blood trickle from her lips and then she is carried away. Leaving me alone. A voice booms into the arena "Congratulations! To the victor of district 12: Peeta Mellark!"

I crumple over in wracking sobs as I see a ladder drop down beside me. I make no attempts to move toward it as the rain subsides and the fake sun begins to shine again-

My eyes flutter open. I find myself still in President snows office, still sitting in the stiff wooden chair I was before. The only difference from then is that I have a tender lump on my shoulder blade where they had inserted some kind of fluid to knock me out. I'm strapped to the chair to... What did they expect me to do?

My wrists have red marks on them and I realize why they had strapped me down, I think for a moment. I've never struggled in my sleep or thrashed around like Katniss had because of nightmares, maybe the trip through a second arena has raised my anxiety and finally caused me to. I feel someone's eyes on me as I think everything through. Snow appears from behind me slowly making his way to his chair, hands linked behind his back creating creases in his suit, keeping his eyes trained on mine as he does.

"Sleep well?" he asks in an innocent tone, as he stands behind his desk, not bothering to take a seat.

"I'm sorry, but I don't understand your question" I answer back a bit more harshly then I had intended; yet I guess it is expected. My voice is rough sounding, like it hasn't been used in awhile.

"I asked if you had slept well, you have been asleep for a few hours. I was trying to be kind."

"How long is a few hours?" I ask, not daring to look away from his eyes. The smell of roses over whelms me as he takes the white rose from his lapel and twirls it in his fingers, examining it.

"Oh, now it doesn't really matter, does it? Now as I asked before, how did you sleep?" He glances up, looking over his glasses to listen to my answer setting the rose onto his desk.

"Well, I haven't had a decent night since the first games, you should know that since you are so friendly toward all the other victors." I say, "Try to imagine what we go through, first being thrown into an arena, and told to fight to the death. Then told you won and being tortured each and every night by nightmares that seem so real you would bet your life on them."

Snow pulls out his chair and settles himself into it. " You'd think I would know. What do you dream about, Peeta? Especially now after a second arena?" he asks. He pulls out a matchbox from his desks and lights it, he puts it onto a metal saucer that holds a few pieces of coal and they begin to burn. He picks up the rose he had been holding earlier and slowly, one by one, plucks one of the petals off then gingerly sets them into the flame for them to burn.

I watch him until I come up with an acceptable answer, if I say Katniss he'll ask about what happens. If I say the arena he'll laugh and ask about the horrors.

"About losing Katniss, in all different ways" I say feeling the tears starting to sting my eyes I blink forcing them back, not wanting to look weak.

"Well at least you won't have to worry anymore, you've already lost her.

* * *

**Authors Note: **Well, i hoped you liked it. Please review and tell me what you think, and also if i should continue or not...~~~Ninja-Rider~~~


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